My Funny Valentine
by Cassandra Mulder
Summary: C/A Valentine Wackiness.


Title: My Funny Valentine  
  
Author: Cordy Chase  
  
Feedback: Yes, please.  
  
Dedicated to: Happy Valentine's Day, Angelicgal82! I hope you don't find me as lame as I do. heh  
  
Specifications: C/A comedy/fluff; Pre-WITW  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: This is not mine, cause I'm not a sadistic torturer. Thanks, Whedon.  
  
Summary: C/A Valentine wackiness.  
  
Distribution: Florrie can have it, anyone else please ask me.  
  
A/N: Well, it's not that comedic, but I tried my best. It's the fluffiest fluff you might   
get your hands on all Valentine's Day though. Cheesy + cliché = fluffy! I didn't know   
what I was doing half the time, but I kept it simple. Lots of fluff (did I say fluff? hehe),   
a little help from the outside, and a non-descript early season three, pre-Connor setting.  
  
***********************************************************************  
"Um, Cordy, how do you feel about Valentine's Day?" Angel asked nervously.  
  
Cordelia frowned. Didn't she always have something else to think about?  
  
"Well, I don't really know. It's been awhile since I've thought about it, actually. There   
hasn't really been 'valentine' material in my life for awhile, ya know?" She paused.   
"Come to think of it, a *long* while," she muttered.  
  
When she looked up again, Angel had vanished. She hated it when he did that!  
  
He'd been acting *really* weird lately. Weirder than usual. And he'd just asked   
her about Valentine's Day... That had certainly never happened before.  
  
Cordelia looked at the calendar on her desk. February 13th.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "That goober is up to something," she muttered.  
  
Mostly unconcerned, she went back to her Cosmo, a little part of her wishing she   
was still the Most Wanted Girl in Sunnydale who always had a date for Valentine's   
Day.  
  
***  
  
"Uh, Angel, I'm probably not the best person to ask about what women want," Fred   
declared nervously. "I've kinda been outta the loop for awhile now, so it's not like I   
had a lotta romance in Pylea."  
  
"But you're a girl, Fred. What do you like? Candy? Flowers? Dinner? Candles? A movie?"  
  
"Well, the first three sound good. I could definitely go for that. I'm sure Cordy could,   
too."  
  
"Cordy? Who said anything about Cordy?" Angel stuttered.  
  
Fred rolled her eyes. "*Angel*," she drawled. "You aren't foolin' me. I'm the only   
other woman you're ever around, and I know you're not askin' about me," she laughed.  
  
"Well, uh, maybe..." He gave up. "It's about Cordy."  
  
Fred ducked her head and giggled. "Angel, Valentine's is tomorrow. You probably   
shoulda thought of that before now," she said with a grimace.  
  
"I know that, Fred," Angel sighed. "I just... I don't even know if I should still go   
through with this."  
  
Fred perked up. "Oh, no! You should! I think it's a great idea. Could've used more   
planning, so it doesn't turn out like that time Billy Amos ran into class at the very   
last minute with a slightly bent, unsigned Superman valentine for me, but..."  
  
Angel looked blank.  
  
"But that was third grade..."  
  
Angel cleared his throat. "Okay. So, would you like to help me or not?"  
  
"Sure. I'll try."  
  
"This is what I had in mind..."  
  
***  
  
Cordelia hadn't seen Angel in three hours, which only heightened her suspicions that   
he was up to something. But she wasn't about to go looking for him, cause if she   
found him he'd just be acting odd *because* he was up to something, and it   
would just lead to more... weirdness. She could live with easing up on the weirdness   
for right now.  
  
She stood up, stretching and yawning. She'd been going over the books for way too   
long. So she decided to wander around for awhile, as there didn't seem to be anyone   
else around.  
  
Just as she turned the corner, she almost ran smack into Wesley. She shrieked.  
  
"God, Wes, give a girl a heart attack!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Cordelia, I didn't hear you coming this way."  
  
"I wouldn't think so, with your nose stuck in that book. Kinda dangerous, don'tcha   
think?"  
  
"Maybe, but not nearly as dangerous as what's *in* the book," Wesley smirked.  
  
Cordelia just rolled her eyes. "Have you seen Angel anywhere? He just disappeared   
on me hours ago, and hasn't come back since."  
  
"The last time I saw him, he and Fred had their heads together, it seemed. I just   
haven't been able to figure out why."  
  
"Huh. You and me both," she said, starting up the stairs.  
  
***  
  
The rest of the evening went slowly. No calls, no monsters, no demons of any kind.   
  
There's no way this is Hell Lay tonight, Cordelia thought randomly as she flipped another page in the book she wasn't reading.  
  
Angel came strolling through the lobby, his previous whereabouts unknown, as Cordelia looked up in surprise. He'd decided to come back after all.  
  
"All right, Mr. Secrets, what have you been up to all day?"  
  
Angel put on his innocent face, as unsuccessful as it was. "Oh, nothing. Fred and I   
were throwing some theories around about that Hignaus demon we were hunting the   
other day. I thought a follow up report might be nice to have. Didn't want to bore you."  
  
"Uh huh," Cordelia mumbled, her eyes narrowed. "Cause this buisness is so boring,   
and I'm in it for the *money*," she replied sarcastically.  
  
Angel's face remained unreadable.  
  
"Okay, fine. Have it your way. Be all mysterious and secretive... If you don't need   
me here anymore tonight, I'd like to go home. I'm bored out of my skull!"  
  
"Go ahead, Cor. If things haven't picked up by now, I doubt they're going to. Have   
a good night, I'll see ya tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, you too. Tomorrow..."  
  
***  
  
Cordelia lazed around most of the day, trying to avoid all the romantic crap on   
television. She was being bitter about this stupid holiday as usual. She knew it   
was just a chance for the candy and flower companies to make a quick buck, but   
she couldn't seem to help herself.  
  
Angel, meanwhile, was in a frenzy, wondering if his plans were getting out of hand.   
This was simple. He could do this. It wasn't like he'd never romanced a woman before.   
Okay, so not lately, and usually not without violence, but this had to be doable.  
  
The basement didn't even look like the basement anymore. Fred had helped him   
transform it into something out of a fairytale. Which was *so* not him, and *so*   
why he needed help.  
  
There was red tulle, and hearts, and twinkle lights everywhere. *Twinkle lights.*   
Never in a million years would he have thought of that.  
  
Now Fred just had to get Cordelia going in the right direction, and everything would   
work out. Maybe.  
  
***  
  
Cordelia strolled into the Hyperion around six, since Angel had told her to stay home   
during the actual daylight hours. She needed the rest, so she hadn't been about to   
argue.  
  
One more sappy moment on the television though, and she was gonna hurl.  
  
The first person she saw was Fred.  
  
"Hey, Fred. What's up?" she asked on the way to her desk. She was pretty sure no   
one had bothered to check the messages all day.  
  
"Nothin' much, Cordy. Angel said he needed you to get him something from upstairs   
though."  
  
"Why doesn't he just get it himself?"  
  
"He said he didn't know where it was. He said you took one of his research books up   
to the room you sleep in sometimes, and only you'd know where to find it."  
  
"Geez, the one I took forever ago? Why does he need that now?"  
  
"I - I have no idea," Fred managed firmly.  
  
Cordelia sighed. "Fine. I'll go look for it. But only because I don't see the message light blinking, I have nothing better to do, and men are big, stupid babies who can't do   
anything for themselves."  
  
Fred frowned at Cordelia's retreating back, and hoped this turned out better than she   
thought it would.  
  
***  
  
Cordelia flipped on the light in "her" room, and started rummaging around behind the   
bed, in case the book had fallen there.  
  
"Nope, not there," she said to herself.  
  
She turned around to head for the small desk on the other end of the room, but she   
stopped abruptly.  
  
Directly in front of her, hanging from the closet door, was a lipstick red, strapless,   
knee length dress that almost took her breath away. Cautiously she approached it,   
as if it might bite her, and eyed the small white note attached to it by a single   
straight pin.  
  
In a strong, scrawling script that she recognized immediately she read,  
  
Cordelia,  
  
The honor of your presence is requested at 7 p.m. in the downstairs dining area.  
Will you be my Valentine?  
  
Angel  
  
She carefully removed the note from the dress, and the dress from the hanger.  
  
Much to her surprise, it was the right size, and as she slid it on minutes later, she   
found it fit in *all* the right places. The top was just snug enough, and the skirt   
flared ever so slightly when she moved. She twirled in front of the mirror and laughed.  
  
She didn't know exactly what Angel had in mind, if he was doing this to make her feel   
better, or for other reasons, but in this dress she was likely to go along with anything.  
  
She touched up her makeup and fluffed her hair as well.  
  
Now she just had to figure out where the heck the "downstairs dining area" was.  
  
"Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!!!!" she called down the stairs.  
  
****  
  
Cordelia began her descent of the basement stairs at 6:59. Her suspicions that Fred   
had been involved in all this were confirmed when she told her that Angel was   
meeting her in the basement. He just didn't want to say that's what it was in the note.  
  
Dork, Cordelia thought with much affection.  
  
But there was little, if anything, dorky about the basement's transformation.  
  
Red and white tulle, twinkle lights, and silk roses were wound around the banister,   
and the same decor continued into the heart of the basement.  
  
Angel was standing there, at the bottom of the stairs, in a semi-formal black suit,   
his shirt open at the throat.  
  
Suddenly it was all Cordelia could do not to stumble the rest of the way down the stairs.  
  
All of this looked amazing... *He* looked amazing.  
  
Down, girl, she thought to herself.  
  
She now stood in front of him, an enormous smile on her face. She couldn't pretend to   
be annoyed about his secrecy, couldn't bring up one single smart or snarky thing to say.  
  
He'd gone to all this trouble for her, and now he was giving her the most beautiful   
single red rose she'd ever seen.  
  
What do you mean you don't know any Valentine material, idiot? she thought to herself.  
  
Behind him on the floor was a huge white blanket spread out, covered in rose petals,   
wine, and dinner.  
  
She gasped.  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day, Cordelia," he said with a goofy grin on his face. "You look   
completely gorgeous tonight."  
  
She thought she would be speechless forever.  
  
"I could say the same about you," she finally managed.  
  
"But why, you went to all this trouble..."  
  
He put a finger on her lips. "It was no trouble, Cordy. And you're the only woman I   
wanted to spend this day with, and certainly the *only* woman I would go to   
this much 'trouble' for."  
  
"I think I love you," she said with a thousand watt smile and a twinkle in her eyes.  
  
"That was the idea," Angel smirked, as he leaned in to kiss her.  
  
THE END! 


End file.
